Legolas' Love
by The Exile 09
Summary: A beautiful girl is SWEPT away into Middle-Earth.. Into Legolas' waiting and loving arms. Parody, no slash, awful grammer and sentance structure, oh, yes, and LOT'S of Mary-Sueism! WOW!
1. Chapter One: Melody FALLS into ME

**_THE REAL A/N: Wee... I just couldn't help but write thiswith my sister one day. We HATE Mtary-Sues, so we decided to write one! MWHAAHAHAH!_**

**_Just remember: THIS IS A PARODY. I did incorrect grammar on purpose. Bash ol' Melody and Leggie'sSweetySweetSweetheartTrueLove all you want. ;) _evil grin**

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"**Legolas' Love". **

**A:N: hey! Leggie'sSweetySweetSweetheartTrueLove here! With another story! I hope I get more reviews and less flames. why doesn't anyone ever like my stories? I don't get it. OH WELL! This is a lot different plot line than most of the Mary-Sues. I promise! It's about how I fall into Middle-Earth, join the Fellowship, and fall in love with Legolas!

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Melody always knew she was different. Whenever she looked in the mirror, she always knew, knew how she was different, she had pointed ears with long, beautiful flaming red hair to her ankles, with bright purple eyes that twinkled whenever she was happy, but they turned red when she was angry, and the lightest shade of green when she was sad. what color did they turn when she was in love? She didn't know, no one ever loved her.

Melody never knew her parents, they died when she was only 1 months years old.

She grew up with her aunt, who never loved her. Ever. Never did she give Melody the attention she needed, or the love. No one liked her at school, either, always making fun of her delicately pointed ears, or her beautiful violet/red/lightgreen eyes.

_Why!_ She always thought to herself. _Why doesn't anyone love me for who I am?_

As she was walking home from school one day, with tears running down her flawless cheeks, when she spotted something on the ground. She bent to pick it up. What was it? DUH, it was a beautiful ring, the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was a plain gold band, of course, but beautiful in it's own way.

"Hello little Ring., are you lost like me?" She said softly, "I know I don't belong here, I always had a feeling that I didn't." She said softly, her voice ringing like a tinkling waterfall.

She put on the ring, and walked over to her house, dreading her aunts physical abuse once again. She beat her time and time again, but no bruises ever showed on her wonderful, flawless skin.

As she was walking gracefully down the lane, she spotted something miles and miles away; for she could see far, very far, up to a thousand miles away!

She paused as the wind picked up, making her beautiful red hair flow behind her, making her look more beautiful then ever.

That something she spotted was a tornado, and it was coming closer.

Closer.

Closer.

She gasped as she saw the tornado headed for two young children!

"Watch out!" She cried in a loud voice, but the stupid, idiotic children did not hear her.

She ran towards them with outstretched arms, yelling, "Hold on!" ,but she herself, got swept away

She screamed, but no one could help her. No one. No one. No one. They were all walking down the street like normal, as if they didn't care about the beautiful young girl/elf that no ones knows about just yet. (A/N: Hey, it's ME! You know who, (giggle giggle) I just gave away the whole plot line! Oops! Oh well! Now you all know!")

Then she fainted, and knew no more.

**A/N: GASP! A cliffhanger!Snort snort! Well if you give me 50 reviews and all be nice, then I'll give u more, because I know you all LOVE my story! Because I like it! And whatever I like, everyone should too!**

**_REAL A/N: MWAHAHHAHA! FEEL MY WRATH, MARY-SUES! Review please! Oh yesssss, review... _holds Leggie'sSweetySweetSweetHeartTrueLove in front of angry Mary-Sue bashers_. She's ALL YOURS! _**


	2. Chapter Two: Legolas and Melody in LOVE

**_creepy voice _Heeeellloooooooo... It's ME! Again! I hope you absoutely hate this chapter just as much as I do! **

Chapter 2:

Melody slowly opened her eyes. Her violet orbs stared back into a concerned pair of blue orbs.

"My Lady, are you alright?" The man who owned the blue eyes asked concernedly.

"I- I think so." She whispered, "I think I can get up." She struggled to stand, but when she did, she collapsed on the ground.

"My Lady!" The man said, and grabbed her right before she fell.

"Oooohhhh..." Melody moaned, and the man picked her up easily.

"Let me carry you, my lady." the man said.

She nodded and studied her savior. He had long, blond hair, with beautiful blue eyes that were beautiful. His delicately pointed ears were just like hers, and she wondered, what did it MEAN?

"Where are we going?" She asked, dazed a bit.

"To Rivendell, my lady, where the Council of Elrond is to be held." The man replied.

"Wha-What?" She asked, recovering her wits quickly, she was not one to be stupid. "Put me down!" She demanded, her eyes changing from violet to bright red.

Legolas did not seem to notice her iris changing, but he put her down, nevertheless.

"What's your name?" She demanded.

"I am Prince Legolas, my lady." He said, "And what, may I ask, is your name, my lady?"

"I am Melody Amber Celebrian Aragornian Courtney Michelle Stephanie Sue," She said, her eyes turning back to violet. "But you can call me Melody." She batted her eyes.

"Melody..." Legolas mused, "A beautiful name for a beautiful maiden."

Melody blushed attractively.

Legolas blushed as well, and love was in the air!

_I think I love him, _Melody thought, _He is the most loving and handsome man I have ever met! I hpe we can get married..._

Unbeknownst to her, her eyes turned the lightest shade of pink, for LOVE.

_A/N: Hehehe Snort snort snort! Looks like I'm in love with Leggy! Again! I hope you all will review again, I can't believe I got all flames! You people are so cruel! How could not like this story! I can't believe all of you. It's a free country! FREE! That's why it's called fanfiction. I can write whatever I want so NAH!_

**REAL A/N: BWAHAHA! Are you all DEAD yet? I am... X.X Yes, oh yes, it is all coming together now! MWAHAH!**

**Shoutouts to EVERYONE!**

**Fear the Fluff: Bwhhahaha! I hate it too! Isn't it GREAT?**

**Eathiln: Good job on the punching! Can I have some of that bleach?**

**Faeriekittie306 animelover: PLEASE don't tell me that you actully LIKE this! Weeelll, if you do, that's okay, I'll give you some acid for your eyes JUST in case...**

**DeRaNgEd TeEn: Yay! I took your advice! She has a looonnngggggggg name! **

**Kymir: Oh, don't die yet! It's just getting GOOD! Not. Don't worry, Mary-Sue and Leggy'sSweetySweetSweetHeartTrueLove will not escape my wrath!Mwahahhahahaa!**


	3. Chapter 3: Farimir to the RESCUE!

Chapter 3:

Legolas gently lifted her up on his gorgeous stallion. The stallion neighed gently, and she gently patted him.

The horse really liked her.

Legolas mounted the gorgeous stallion behind her, and galloped off into the sunset.

Hours later…..

"Oh LEGOLAS," Melody flirted, "You flatter me!"

She enjoyed the look on Legolas's face, the bright red that zoomed into his face.

Suddenly, as they walked into a clearing, Melody gasped.

"Is this the Rivendell you speak of?" She asked her voice happy and vibrant.

"Yes, my lady, it is." Legolas said, gently kissing her on the cheek.

She giggled flirtatiously.

Suddenly, 50 orcs surrounded the stallion. They growled and said, "Aye, this is a pretty one! Let's take her to Sauron!"

Melody screamed. The orcs jeered. She screamed again.

Legolas's blue eyes flashed, "You will never take her!"

But it was too late! The orcs had grabbed her and run away.

"LEEEEEGGGGOOOOOLLLAAAASSSS! HHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She screamed as they bound her hands and jostled her away in the direction of Mordor.

Legolas started shooting orcs, but he could no longer see his beloved Melody among them.

Suddenly, a group of 30 men ran to the orcs and killed them all!

The leader stepped forth and un-tied Melody's hands.

"Who are you?" Melody asked, her eyes changing from bright brown to violet again.

"I am Farimir, and I had a dream in which a beautiful maiden was captured by the orcs, so I had to save her.

Melody batted her eyes.

Legolas pushed Farimir aside. "Eh, thanks for the help. You can go now." He said jealously.

"Oh LEGGY! Not yet! He's so CUTE!" Melody latched onto Farimir's arm.

Farimir blushed.

Legolas turned green with envy.

Melody giggled and hid behind a tree.

They then proceeded to play a game of hide-and-seek with all the men.

Legolas just sat and lamented. His true love loved ANOTHER!

Then Farimir had to go home, so they said goodbye.

"Oh Legolas," Melody said flirtatiously, "My leg HURTS, could you carry me?"

Legolas brightened instantly. She loved him again! "Of course, my lady Melody."

The horse followed Legolas and Melody, and he carried her off to Rivendell

_A/n: HEHEHEHEHE! GIGGIGIGIGIGIGILLLEEEE! Things are heating up! Just like those soap operas I watch every Friday! I don't believe you all don't like my story! I'm the best author in the world! I really am!_

**MWAHAHHAHA! This one is even worse, is it not? I hope you all DESPAIR of this story! **

**THECheeseTurkey: LOL! I know! That's why I named her that... (evil grin) Cool name, btw... I want a cheese turkey!**

**Princess Rue of Mirkwood: lol! Gimli IS ugly, but shouldn't Ol' Melody have ALL the characters:P**

**How to Speak with an Accent: Well thank you! Kelli (my sister who wrote this with me) DO try our hardest to make this story as awful as possible... **

**Atomic Elf: Thanks:D Cool name, btw**

**Fear the Fluff: I'm HONORED! Of COURSE you may torture Leggy'sSweetySweetSweetHeartTrueLove and Melody! Just as long as you say in your story that I created these... these... MONSTERS! Good luck!**

**DeRaNgEd TeEn: Aw, thanks! Mwhahaa, this is so much fun to write.. you should write one too! It's a great stress reliver... especially to find Melody and bash her head into a glass window... (evil grin)**

**faeriekittie306animelover: Haha. :P I would be MORE than HAPPY to explain who a Mary-Sue is... A Mary-Sue is a perfect girl, who usally falls in love with Legolas, (she can be from Middle-Earth, or she can fall into Middle-Earth) Usally beautiful beyond belief, with LONG hair and red/purple eyes. (gags) It's usally badly-written; but not ALL Mary-Sues are bad. Just most are.**

**Legolas' Girl 9: YES! DOWN WITH MELODY! We should get the pitchforks and torches and form an angry mob!**

**Mizamour: Thank you!**

**Eathiln: lol! In these stories, Leggy is ALWAYS clueless in these stories. Once I read this story with this girl that fell in M-E, and she told Legolas that she was from another world, and ALL he said was; "Oh, how strange!" Yes... that was weird... I was scared. THANKS FOR THE BLEACH!**

**Well, until next chapter! Don't die yet!**


	4. Chapter 4: Jealousy in Rivendell

**Chapter 4: Jealousy in Rivendell**

They arrived in Rivendell safely. Safely they rode into Rivendell in all safety.

All the elves stopped and stared at the beautiful elf. NO. Not Legolas, dummy! Melody! They all bowed before (what they thought to be) the beautiful elf queen.

Erond ran out to meet them. "My LADY!" He gasped, "Luthien the fair!"

"Wha-?" Melody asked,

"No…" Elrand said, "You are too beautiful to be Luthien. Compared to you, she is but a human."

Aragorn scowled in the background.

"You are surely the most beautiful elf-maiden in all earth! ALL OF IT!"

"Ada! What about ME?" Arowen said, pushing Melody aside. Melody fell to the ground with a soft cry, and all the eligible elf men (and some not eligible) scurried to help her up.

But Legolas got there first. "Are you all right my lady?" Legolas glared at Arwen, who in comparison with Melody, looked like a dirty pair of socks.

Melody giggled flirtatiously, "Yes, I-I think so."

Legolas still looked down at her worriedly, "You need rest, milady, after all of this strain on your poor body, you must be tired. Elrod! Show her a room!"

Lrond bowed to Melody and said, "Only the BEST room can be fit for you, lady. Follow me."

Legolas picked up Melody, and all of Rivendell followed them, wondering at Melody's beauty.

Elrind led them to the most beautiful room Melody had EVER SEEN!

"But ADA! That's MY room!" Arwon screamed.

"But the Lady Melody is fairer than you, Arewen, she DESERVES this room." Elrond said, bowing before Melody. "I am not worthy of your presence, my lady."

"No; MY lady." Said Legolas.

All the elves laughed at Legolas' joke, and everyone was merry and happy; for Melody cheered EVERYONE'S spirits.

Melody giggled as Legolas gently set her down on Arwen's bed.

"But where do I sleep, Ada?" Arwen whined, her ugly black hair falling over her hideous face, (compared to Melody, that is)

Elorond showed her to her new room, which was really the laundry room.

Melody secretly gloated.

"My lady, I would be honored if you would attend my council. Almost all the wise are there, and you are indeed wise and beautiful."

Melody blushed, "I would be honored." She replied, her voice sounding like a falling rose petal.

"What about ME, ada? Can _I _go to the council?" Arwen asked, her voice sounding like a dying bird.

"No, my not perfect daughter, you cannot. You are not beautiful and not smart enough to attend."

Arwen seethed, Melody beamed.

Legolas couldn't wait any longer! He loved Melody so much! He ran to her and kissed her on the lips.

Melody tensed in his arms, then relaxed.

Her eyes again turned pink. A vibrant pink.

All the eligible elven men cried; Melody was taken.

_A/N: TEEHEE! I just LOVED this chapter! Wasn't it wonderful? I still can't believe I got all flames! Why? My story is the best! THE BEST! Once and for all, this is NOT a Mary-Sue! What makes you say that? I can't believe you all! If you don't like it, don't review!_

**REAL A/N: MWAHAHHA! Arwen and Melody jealousy! OH NO! **

**Fear the Fluff: Yay! I can't wait till it begins! I will laugh in LSSSHTL and Melody's face! MWAHHAAH!**

**Alyss: Thank you:-D**

**Southren Gaelic: REALLY? I'm actully think I'm EVEN with that story! YAY! Thank you! (hugs) I LOVE that story! It's so awfully wonderful in an awful sort of way!**

**Random Ulyoth Worshiper: EVIL CHAIR! What is this EVIL CHAIR! TELL MEEEEEE! I'm glad you liked!**

**faeriekittie306animelover: Oh my, your name is very hard to type (goes off in search of a nickname) What would YOU like your new nickname to be? MWAH! Thanks for reviewing! And your welcome ;)**

**DeRaNgEd TeEn: Hmmm.. yarn... (ponders) Let's see... We could make her an ugly yarn headress and make her wear it! MWHAHAHAHA! That would make all the MS's CRY!**

**LFC: lol, there are always two types of MS's: The one's that can beat Legolas and Aragorn easily the VERY first time they ever fight. Or there are the ones that are just helpless and waiting for Leggy to rescue them. I'll probably do both.. scary, huh? I'm glad you like, and thanks for reviewing!**

**Cathrine Rose: lol! Thanks!**

**UNTIL NEXT TIMMMEEE! Don't die!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Daugter of Elbereth herse...

Chapter 5

Melody came into the council, and when she entered, all gasped and stood in her presence. She was SO stunning! She was wearing one of Arwen's gowns, and she looked SO much more dazzling than Arwen ever did.

"Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." Elrond said.

Frodo, a cute little hobbit that was cute, reached in his pocket in all cuteness. "It's GONE!" He gasped cutely.

Everyone gasped. Except Melody. She looked on her finger at the Ring she was wearing. She knew in her heart that it was the One Ring.

"Is this the ring you were looking for?" Melody said, standing up and displaying the Ring to all.

Everyone gasped; it WAS the One Ring!

"She wears the One Ring, yet it does not affect her!" Everyone said.

"There is only one explanation for this." Elrond said, "She is the daughter of Elbereth herself."

Everyone gasped again, and dropped to the ground in worship.

Elrond ran out of the room and came back carrying two things: The Shards of Narsil, and the Evenstar.

"These two things I give to you, Melody Aragornian. You must be the heir of Elendil as well as a daughter of Elbereth.

"That's MINE!" Aragorn screamed. "Narsil belongs to me! I'M the heir to Gondor!"

Arwen also came running in, "And that's mine!" She said selfishly, pointing to the Evenstar.

Elrond glared at Arwen and Aragorn, "Melody is heir to the throne of Gondor, and is now the new owner of the Evenstar. She DESERVES it. "

Melody blushed attractively, "I do not need these gifts, for it is true that I am the most BEAUTIFUL maiden in all the earth, but what is this Heir of Elendil?"

The elves explained to the beautiful Melody that was beautiful that she was the heir to the throne of Gondor.

"I will be QUEEN!" She mused beautifully, running into Legolas' arms. "And you will be my king," She said happily.

Legolas spun her around joyfully, and all the elves cheered.

Arwen and Aragorn be furious at the joyful couple.

"WAIT!" Elrondi cried, "I am sorry to mess up this joyous occasion, but we must know what to do with the one Ring!"

No one raised their hands or volunteered, finally Melody said, "I will take it!"

"No!" Legolas cried, "It will damage your fair skin my lady!"

"Oh, your right!" Melody said, "Who will take it then?"

Elrondo pointed to Frodo, "No one cares about him, how about HE take it?"

Everyone agreed and Frodo gave a small "Meep!"

"Then I will come with this cute Halfling, " Melody said, bouncing over to Frodo.

"Melody! I can never go anywhere without you my lady!" Legolas cried, and ran over to Frodo and Melody. "You have my love my lady."

Aragorn glared at Melody and Legolas, but went over to Frodo. "I will come." He said in his ugly voice.

An ugly dwarf named Gimli stepped forth, "I will also come, for you are beautiful and fair, Lady Melody. No one will ever harm you when I am around."

A man named Boromir stepped out, He was kinda cute. Melody giggled; he looked strangely like the man who played hide and seek with her! "I will also protect you, milady. For you are the most beautiful maiden in the world; and I would die if I saw your downfall." He glanced offhandedly at Frodo, "I'll protect you too, I guess, pipsqueak."

"WAIIIItTTTTTT!" Sam (another hobbit, only he was fat. Ew!) squealed. "Mr. Frodo isn't going anywhere without me!" He said loyally, and gave Melody a look that said, 'I'm only going because of you, Ms. Melody.'

"Oi! We're coming too!" More cute little hobbits came out.

"We like to play pranks." One of them said, and gave Melody a mischievous grin. Melody absentmindedly patted the hobbit's head.

He winced at her touch.

"Don't forget about me, Melody!" An old, ugly man said, hobbling over to them.

"Um… who are you?" She asked.

"I am Gandalf, and I'm a wizard! See my pointy hat?" He pointed to the hat and winked suggestively.

"I LOVE your pointy hat," She said, playing along.

Legolas glared at Gandalf and shoved him aside. He fell to the ground with a soft old manly cry.

No hot eligible elf women picked HIM up.

_A/N: Oh NO! What's going to HAPPEN? Is Melody going to die?_

**REAL A/N: MWAH! MWAH! MWHAHAHAHAHAA! I think this is the most random and awful one yet! And about the Elbereth thing... I know, I know, the peeps that write these awful Mary-Sues have never read the books much less the Silmarillion... but I couldn't help it! Don't worry, it's still going to go by the movie... BLECH! hehehehhee... anyway.. SHOUTOUTSSSSS!**

**Fk306a: WEE! New nickname tiiimmmeee! Thankies. :D**

**Southren Gaelic: Oh yes... but don't die yet! There is more to come! And yes... you may kill her! Weeelll... not YET... but you can beat her up! **

**Yerathiel: The pink eyes ARE scary... and the red... and purple... and light green... AH! SporkS! I LOVE sporks! I'll join you!**

**DeRaNgEd TeEn: Lol! I had fun ruining Elrond's name... Fun fun fun! **

**Slina: Heh, thanks. Pink eyesscary :-P Thankies!**

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	6. Chapter 6: The Start of a Long Journey P...

_Melody walked gracefully along the lane. She saw her love, her TRUE love, Legolas. She ran to him; but before she could LEAP into his arms, he disappeared. "Legolas! Where are you? Come back!" She cried, her voice filling with fear. _

"_**IIIIII SSSSEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYOOOOUUUUUUUUU**" _

_Melody looked and saw the EYE! _

"_**You are beautiful, Melody. Too beautiful. You will make a perfect wife for me**." Sauron said._

"_No! I love Legolas!" She screamed, "No other!"_

"_**You WILL love me. You cannot have Legolas! I want you!**" _

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Melody bolted upright in her bed, her bed sheets covered in sweat.

"Was it only a dream?" She whispered, trembling, "It seems so real!"

Legolas burst into the room, "What happened, my lady! I felt Sauron's presence in Rivendell my lady!"

"He was here then…" Melody trembled, and ran into Legolas' arms. "Oh LEGGY! Protect me! Save me from him! He WANTS me!"

Legolas held her close and whispered soothing words in her ear.

"I LOVE you, my lady. I will let nothing happen to you, my lady."

"Really?" Melody gazed up into Legolas's blue orbs and sighed dramatically, and they kissed passionately under the moonlight.

The next day The Fellowship set out.

Melody was looking more stunning than ever, her beautiful flaming red hair put up in an exquisite bun, with stray hairs out of place here and there, making her look more beautiful. She was wearing Arwen's traveling gown, with 60 more packed on the carrying pony. She carried 3 feather pillows and anheavy, LARGE feathermattress for her to rest on at night.

Elrondo gave them all (except for Melody) a depressing speech about how they were all going to die. But to Melody he gave her more praise about how beautiful she was.

As they were about to leave, all the elves rushed and got her a horse. A stunning white horse, so beautiful that it shone. It was ALMOST as beautiful as Melody herself.

"My lady, you are as fair as Elbereth herself" Elrondond said, "Arwen, with a little persuasion from me, agreed that you could have her horse, Asfaloth."

"No I didn't Ada!" Arwen exclaimed selfishly, her voice sounding like a nails on a chalkboard, and her breath smelling like a skunk.

"Oh thank you Elrondio, Arwen! She exclaimed, her voice sounding like a soft summer breeze, and her breath smelling like rose."

"What about us?" Aragorn asked, "Don't WE get horses?"

"Of COURSE not, you imbecile!" Elroondel said, "This is a mission of secrecy! You cannot be prancing around on horses!"

"Then why does SHE get one?" Aragorn asked, very annoyed and glaring at the poor and innocent Melody.

"Because you DESERVES it, just as she diverse the new and Re-made Narsil and the Evenstar."

"I re-named Narsil too." Melody giggled, "I named it Pink Terror."

Aragorn had a look of horror on his ugly and dirty and sweaty face, "PINK TERROR! PINK TERROR! What kind of name is that for the sword of kings!"

"Silence! Pink Terror is the perfect name for this sword." Eolrond quickly came to Melody's defense.

"And look! I re-decorated it too!" Melody said, pulling out the sword. It has pink ribbons all over and buttons, and an occasional Barbie sticker here and there. It made Pink Terror look so much more beautiful; like Melody herself.

Aragorn screamed and attempted to pull out Melody's gorgeous red locks. Melody screamed and fell to the ground.

"LEGOLAS! HELP ME!" She cried, her voice ringing with fear.

"NEVER FEAR MY LADY!" Legolas said heroically, and pushed Aragorn aside, he fell to the ground and glared at the couple.

"Legolas," Melody breathed, "You SAVED me! I feel that our relationship is getting stronger! Oh I LOVE YOU!"

Legolas held her close and kissed her. Melody giggled.

The rest of the Fellowship (except for Aragorn, Merry, and Pippin) Aawweedd.

So they set off. Melody on Asfaloth, and the rest of the Fellowship on foot.

All of Melody's stuff (including her mattress and pillows) was divided up on Legolas, Aragorn, and Borimir, Legolas and Borimir, being the kind, loving men that they were, carried it cheerfully. But Aragorn, (who was carrying the mattress) rudely complained, and dropped it often, making it soiled. Melody shed many tears over this, only to be comforted by Legolas.

That night, when they set up for camp, and Melody's air mattress, silk sheets, feather pillows were set up, Legolas and Melody were cuddling.

"My lady," Borimir said, "You're voice is like the tinkling of a waterfall, you could sing for us?"

Melody giggled, "Of COURSE I will, Bori!" And she began to sing, in the most beautiful voice all of Middle-Earth has ever heard of:

_So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... _

_Let's talk this over It's not like we're dead _

_Was it something I did? Was it something You said? _

_Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead _

_Held up up so high On such a breakable thread_

_You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be _

_You were everything, everything that I wanted _

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it _

_And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending _

_So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... _

_You've got your dumb friends I know what they say _

_They tell you I'm difficult But so are they _

_But they don't know me Do they even know you? _

_All the things you hide from me All the CENSORED that you do _

_You were all the things I thought I knew _

_And I thought we could be, You were everything, everything that I wanted _

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it _

_And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away_

_All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... _

_It's nice to know you were there Thanks for acting like you cared_

_And making me feel like I was the only one It's nice to know we had it all _

_Thanks for watching as I fall And letting me know we were done_

_You were everything, everything that I wanted _

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away _

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... _

_You were everything, everything that I wanted _

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it _

_And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending _

_So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh..._

Melody finished with a whisper, and she started crying in Legolas' arms.

Tears ran down Legolas' cheeks, "That was beautiful, my lady!"

The whole Fellowship was crying, except for Merry, Pippin and Aragorn.

who only sat and stared in shock.

"That was the most awful song in all of Middle-Earth!" Pippin said, plugging his ears.

"Shut up, pipsqueak." Borimir said, glaring at Pippin.

Melody started crying even harder, and most of the Fellowship tried to comfort her in her time of grief.

_A/n: Giggggggggglllleeee! This is my FAV chapter! Isn't it great? Especially because it has Avril in it! She is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good! Giggle! But the question is: Why is Melody CRYING? Will Legolas comfort her? That's in my next chapter. Toodle-loo!_

**_REAL A/N: _**

**_Oh my. This is very scary. Especailly the SONG! covers ears No offense to those who like Avril, but sheis my mortal enemy. But... yeah. Then why, you ask, do I even know the lyrics for this? Weeelll... I found it onthe internet! MWAH! btw.. Sorry I haven't updated in a while.. evil final school tests in such.. :P _**

**DeRaNgEd TeEn: I'm soooo sorry! is ashamed. I hope you like all these misspellings of Elrond! **

**Southern Gaelic: YAY! -cheers for Gaelic and watches as Melody writhes in pain- YAY!**

**Elewythe: Wow.. you really love to change your name, don't you? Lol... I WANNA SPORK! -lunges at spork-**


	7. Chapter 7: A Beautiful Breakfast

Chapter 7: A Beautiful Breakfast

"Legolas…" Melody whispered to Legolas after she had calmed down a bit.

"What is it, my beloved lady?"

"I have a… a… confession to make." Melody said, "I… used…. tooo…. love… another…" Melody threw herself into Legolas' arms and sobbed. Again.

"But… but… My lady! Do you love me?"

"Yes, Legolas, I do! I love you with ALL my HEART." Melody burst out.

"Oh my lady, lady lady lady lady, I love you no matter what has happened in the past. The past is in the past, and not the future."

"REALLY?" Melody gasped in delight. "Oh LEGOLAS! WE have a future together, DON'T WE?"

"Of COURSE, my lady." Legolas said, kissing her passionately.

Gandalf cried when he saw this: Again, Melody was TAKEN.

Later that night, Legolas lay next to Melody's mattress, (for he was not worthy of sleeping next to her) tossing and turning in his sleep.

_The eye of Sauron looked at Legolas. Legolas looked at Sauron. They both looked at each other. The looked at each other in all lookedness. _

"_**I SSEEEEE YOOOUUUU"** Sauron said, **"YOU ARE LEGOLAS OF THE WOODLAND RELM. YOU ARE THE ONE MELODY WANTS INSTEAD OF ME! GAH!**_

_Then a vision appeared before Legolas, Melody, laying on a bed; DEAD. (A/N: GIGGLE! Just like Arwen in the mooovvviiee. Only prettier! Yay! Heheheh Teehehehe! Yay Melody!) Everyone weeping at her bedside. "No…" Legolas winced and covered his eyes. It didn't help._

"_**GIVE ME MELODY." **Sauron commanded, _

"_NEVER!" Legolas cried. _

"_**THEN SHE SHALL BE MINE OR DIE." **_

"No.. No.. NOOOOOO!" Legolas sat up, panting. It was just a dream. Just a dream. But what a horrible experience!

"Melody.." Legolas whispered, shaking her gently.

"Wha-What is it, my love?" She asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"I-… I… I….I….I….I….I….I….I….I…I….I… (REAL A/N: JUST GET OUT WITH IT ALREADY!) I… I… I…." Legolas stammered, "I… I… I had a …. Bad…. Dream.."

Melody's face softened, "Oh, LEGGY. It was just a dream! Not real. A DREAM. Dream. Not. Real. Dream."

Legolas, at first was confused, but after Melody's gently smart words was comforted.

He went back to sleep.

The Fellowship all woke the next morning to see Melody making breakfast cheerfully.

"I made pancakes," Melody giggled, "And eggs! And sausages! And bacon!" She held up her frying pan; it was beautiful, just like her. The frying pan, was of course, a frying pan. But it was the most beautiful frying pan anyone had EVER SEEN! It was made of crystal and diamonds. And not a spot of grease was on it.

Everyone crowded around her, "Oh dear," She said, Snow White style, "Everyone! Make line! Go on!"

Everyone made a line.

Everyone dug in hungrily, except for Aragorn, who was a lazy butt and was last in line. But alas! Melody had taken the last portion! There was none left for the sucky Aragorn. All he had was moldy bread. But he was MEAN to her anyway, so she cared not.

After a WONDERFUL breakfast the Fellowship set out. The crossed endless plains and fields. But who really cares about that? Then they went to some random rocks and saw some weird crows. They all got scared and hid under a bush. But alas, Melody was NOT scared, for Legolas was with her, and would let nothing happen to her. While the stupid birds flew by, Melody and Legolas were MAKING OUT.. Ooooohhh! (A/N: GIGGLE! That is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo romantic! HEHEH! Just like on FRIENDS and SEX AND THE CITY! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEE those shows! They're soooo cool! I liked the 569th episode on Friends when Rachel dates that cutie! And that night they… Well… never mind)

Later that day, while Melody was stretching her legs, (the horse was following her, for it loved her so!) suddenly Melody gave a blood-curdling SCREAM!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHAT IS IT MY LADY!" Legolas cried, rushing to her side.

"It's an ANT! Oh LEGGY! SAVE ME!" Melody screamed.

Aragorn rolled his eyes, but of course, he did not understand what ants could do to poor, innocent she-elves.

"I'LL save you my lady!" Legolas said, stomping on the ant heroically.

"Oh my love! You SAVED me! AGAIN!" She flew into his arms and they kissed passionately. Again.

_A/N: Ggiigigigigigigllee! I just loooovedddd this chapter! My fav.! It was so rad! And STOP trying to hurt Melody, you FIEENDDDSSS. Melody is SOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than ALL of you. _

**_REAL A/N: OMGsh... I'm dieing.. My sister and I were SO hyper when we wrote this.. MWHAHA! It's sad.. Alot of... stammering and multiple vowels.. o.O Hehehe... _**

**_DeRaNgEd TeEn: LOL! Thanks.. I actually didn't notice that until you mention it.. Oh well! Oh.. and what, pray-tell, are Engrish T captions? -bounces- If they make Melody look more stupid I would be more than HAPPY to learn them! _**

**_ISpikedThePunch: ROFL! You sounded very English. :P I'm glad you thought it was bloody hilarious! Mwhahaha! -huggles-_**

**_Killer Fuzzy Bunny From Hell: Lol... Your username.. -snickers- I LOOVE killer fuzzy bunnys! They're sooo FUZZY! Mwhahaa... Anyway.. I NEVER knew that gandalf had an ARMY! -hides-_**

**_Allkai: Lol, it's SUPPOSED to be scary! Mwhaha.. _**

**_Southern Gaelic: LOL! Sparklypoo.. sounds like something I would say.. -g- You know.. whenever I type in your sn on this.. I always want to write Southron Geolic or something.. sad huh? My memory is failing.. LEGOLAS SAVE ME! He can do ANYTHING you know.. Well.. except fly! -shoves Legolas off a cliff-  
Legolas: AAAHHHHHH -splat-  
Me: -g- See? No flying for Leggy!_**

**_Not-So-Girly-Hyper-Elf-Girl: WOW. Lol, I LOVE those slashes of Bill and Bill! -sighs dramitcally- NOT. Mwhahaha... Hannon le very much:P _**


	8. Chapter 8: The Ballad of Mr Whiskers

Chapter 8: The Ballad of Mr. Whiskers

The next day, the old fart, Gandalf, said that because of the random crows, they could not go their original route to Mordor. They did not know what to do! Melody did not understand; with Legolas around, he could protect ANYBODY! But her sweet voice rang out with an idea, "I have an idea! Why don't we go through that wonderful mountain, Cahadras?"

Everyone (but Aragorn, but he doesn't count, for his thoughts were stupid, and no one really cared about what he thought.) thought this was a WONDERFUL idea, so they all packed their things, and followed Melody's INGENIOUS idea!

After hours of walking, everyone got to the biiiiiggggg mountain. "Oh my!" Melody said, looking up at it with her beautiful, violet/pink/red/brown/green/some other unknown colored eyes. "It's awfully big." She said, clutching Legolas tightly. But she summoned her courage and walked up, the Fellowship walking behind her.

Soon it began to snow. Melody giggled as the snowflakes kissed her flawless cheeks and dotted her gorgeous red hair with white. Legolas stared at her in awe, her cheeks flushed to an attractive pink, her perfect white arms outstretched, spinning around in circles, head up, while the snow rained down upon her. She saw Legolas staring at her and she looked at him thoughtfully, "What is it, sweety-kins?" She asked innocently, hairs falling out of her exquisite bun, making her look more beautiful than ever.

"Only, My lady, that you have grown more beautiful than when I met you. How can this be, my lady?"

Melody giggled, "Oh SILLY! Don't you know that I was never loved at my own world? But now that I am here, and people worship me for who I am… Well, I can feel my beautifulness blossoming again." She smiled at him, and they kissed passionately.

Suddenly Melody began crying! SOBBING into hysterically into Legolas' shoulder!

"What is it, my lady? What's wrong, my lady? Why are you crying, my lady?"

"It's just… just……………………………………………………………………………………………………MR. WHISKERS! WAAAHHHH! Why! Mr. Whiskers? WHY did you jump in front of the Meow Chow truck? WHYYY?" Melody sobbed in her righteous grief, grieving over Mr. Whiskers grievously.

Legolas was shocked! "You love another, Milady?" He said, grieving grievously.

" No," She sniffed, "Mr. Whiskers was my… my… KITTY! He was so ADORABLE, Legolas! He was white with pink and purple on the end of his tail! He was unique, JUST like ME. But then he had to jump in front of the Meow Chow truck…" Melody sobbed again.

Legolas massaged her shoulders gently, "Oh MY LADY, it is alright! Mr. Whiskers is in a BETTER PLACE. And I love you now, Mr. Whiskers would want you to be HAPPY."

"You're right!" Sniffed Melody, and suddenly she burst out laughing! "GASP! I remember all the good times we used to have, like when he would 'pretend' to be an attack kitty and scratch up my beautiful face!" She giggled, for it would never leave a scratch, "And then when he wouldn't drink his milk and he spilled it all over the new $5,000 dollar rug that my abusive aunt had! She whipped me for it, but OH it was funny!"

(REAL A/N: Wow, sounds like 'Mr. Whiskers' REALLY loved Melody! Not.)

Legolas REJOICED at her happiness once again, for when she was happy, HE was happy.

* * *

Melody urged Asfoloth onward, shivering painfully in the biting cold. The gentle falling of snow had turned into a HORRIBLE BLIZZARD! Melody had gotten colder and colder, whenever she was tempted to just fall asleep in the bitter cold, she took out Pink Terror, and drew courage from it, she MUST not fall asleep! Her people needed her!

But… a few minuets later, she was SO COLD she couldn't STAND it! "Oooohhhhhhhhhh" She moaned as she fell off Asfaloth.

Asfaloth whinnied urgently, calling for help! He nuzzled her gently, but she stirred not.

Legolas and Borimir, who were each carrying two hobbits, heard Asfaloth's cry for HELP! Dropping the hobbits into the 6-foot deep snow, they RUSHED forward to help the poor, helpless Melody in all helplessness.

"MY LADY!" Gasped Legolas, caressing her face with tears in his eyes, was she ALRIGHT!

Melody moaned faintly, her plump, shinylips blue from the cold.

"We must HELP her!" Said Borimir

"But HOW!" Legolas sniffed, peeling his frozen teardrops away.

Borimir had an idea, "I have an idea!" He said, rushing to some random driftwood just laying on top of the snow, he gathered them together. And then plucked a hair from Legolas' sexy head.

Legolas turned and glared at Borimir, "What was that for?" He asked angrily (_A/N: OOOHHH! JEALOUSY! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH_!)

"It's to SAVE our lady!" Borimir said heroically, weaving Legolas' hair in through the wood.

Suddenly Legolas understood, "I will do ANYTHING for my lady! ANYTHING!"

"Good," Borimir said, plucking another hair from Legolas' head.

* * *

HOURS LATER

"It's finished!" Borimir exclaimed, lifting up the newly-made litter. It was beautiful now, fit for one as fair as Melody. Legolas' sexy hair made it shine with an elven glow. Where the curtains were (yes, curtains, or previous blankets from the hobbits' and Aragorn's packs) inside, there was MELODY! She was as snug as a bug, and as toasty and warm as toast. With Jelly. (_A/n:  
MMMMMMM! MY FAVORTIEEEEE! It's great great! Like an afternoon steak! TEHEHEHEH! My best friend always says that! She's the type that could tickle you pink! Her name's Roxanne! Hehe It's the ccccccccccccccccccccccccoooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt name in the world! HEHEHE_!)

The blizzards howled and hooted, but Melody, was safe and warm inside.

Borimir and Legolas, toiling up the mountain, WITH Melody on her litter, AND the feather pillows, and all her sixty dresses. But Melody cared not, for she was COLD, and that was ALL that mattered.

Soon, Melody peeked her head out of the litter, and GASPED in horror! Legolas was BALD! He was willing to sacrifice his sexy hair for HER sake. "Oh LEGGY! You POOR DEAR!" She sobbed, "You have no hair because me! What shall I DOOOO?"

"It's alright, my lady.. I was happy to sacrifice my sexay hair for your sake..." Legolas said, feeling his bald spot a bit sadly.

She told Borimir and Legolas to lower her, and she gracefully in all gracefulness stepped out of the litter. "Bow before me and lower you head, my love." She said softly, the howling wind suddenly growing calmer.

Legolas did as she said, for he could not refuse her. She summoned a tear from her beautiful violet eyes and it trickled down her flawless cheek and dropped on Legolas' head.

SUDDENLY! A bright light FLASHED in all flashedness on Legolas' head, and then slowly disappeared.. And LO and BEHOLD! Legolas' head was filled with HAIR!

"Oh my LADY! I thank you DEARLY! My hair is now SHINIER and LONGER and more BEAUTFIUL!" They embraced and kissed passionately, and everyone cheered.

**The REAL A/n: HELLO! Sorry it took me awhile to update... -cries- I was really busy... and I couldn't think of any more REALLY ridiculous stuff to happen to ol' Melody... But thanks to my fwiendies, Lynne and A.D. who thought of the baldness and Melody restoring it! -throws up-**

**Southern Gaelic: Cat o' nine! PERFECT! -grabs one herself- but wait... this is too gentle for Melody... Need... stronger... more painful.. WEAPON!**

**DRUNKEN LANDLORD: Awsome name.. lol But I'm still a bit oblivious to terms on here... what does WMD's mean?**

**chou-fleur: Hmm.. ponders Now WHO are you again? Lol.. jk :-P -loves your story- mwhaha.. Anywhoo.. thanks:-D**

**Mardi G.: Well.. according to Leggy'ssweetiesweetiesweetheartruelove, Elrond's name isn't WORTH taking the time to spell it right! Mwahah.. thanks :-D**

**Lizzie: To me, m'dear... a compliment! Yay! Thanks muchly :-D**

**Yami Chikara: LOL... thanks:-D I read this one story once where this Mary-Sue described in GREAT detail the tank top that she was wearing.. then in the A/n... the author informed us that she has that EXACT same tank top! GASP! She also got it from TARGET.. Gah... how sad :P**

**ISpikedThePunch: But of COURSE... I got the frying pan (complete with wig and frilly, elegant dress) at SUE MART! Where all your Sue needs are satisfied! Hannon le:P**

**Killer Fuzzy Bunny from Hell: YAY! TOASTERS! I like toaster, except my toaster is truely evil... It burns my poptarts! WAAAA! Mwahha.. thanks for the review! I shall keep your armies in mind! Maybe at the end... -ponders-**

**PhycoFanaticElfindaWoods: MWAHAH! SAMMMMYYY! -tackles- Thankies, you.. you.. FLAMER YOU!**

**THECheeseTurkey: RFLOL! You have no clue how much your reviews cracked me up... mwahah... Thanks :-D**

**Irishobbit: FWIENDIE TIME! hehhe... -comforts sobbing Iris- now now, fwiendie... it's supposed to be FUNNY! -huggles-**


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